1) If you haven’t already, you must watch “The Joy Luck Club.”

2) You enjoy Chinese food and are open to trying different types. And if you happen to already eat Chinese food, even better! Sunday Dim Sum Brunch!

3) Do not expect me to be a proverbial bottom. Got it? Good. Because I will cut you.

4) Be nice to servers and tip handsomely.

5) Have a voice.