As an artist, I believe in possibilities. I believe in the infinite, the endless, the constant spinning and turning and changing of the world, over and over again. Which I think explains my love for tumblr and most social media—it’s the beautiful way in which ideas become recycled, each one of us taking something deep and personal or light and superficial from the images or quotes that come up on our dashboard. We then pass them on so that others can, in turn leave their own imprint of wisdom, affection, love, hate, companionship, a connection, a fleeting sense of community… something to remind them that they too are a part of something. 

It’s all really wonderful.

I went to the beach today with a dear friend, Amrita. 

Amrita is also a fellow artist. We have commiserated over many things together for the past few years, and lately it seems that we continue to hit the same wall over and over again, stuck in this weird paralysis of movement forward. Like our feet are stuck in the mud. 

Is it a lack of passion? Lack of faith? Lack of empathy? Because our wells have run dry and the only tears left, we reserve for us?

We both draw inspiration from the good in the world and we become invigorated with happy feelings and thoughts, our brains spinning with ideas and imaginations. And we believe, for a moment, that the world is going to turn out okay because we feel infinite. But when there isn’t enough of the good to feed us, we wither. We falter. We stop growing. We become paralyzed. 

I believe firmly that we are not the only ones who feel this way.

However, in the past few days it has come to my attention that maybe it isn’t the world, because every morning I still manage to wake up to see the sun, feel the breeze, drink my coffee, speak to friends, hug my grandmother, get angry at something silly and fall asleep late in the night. 

And it occurs to be that this can’t be so bad. 

So no more standing still and complaining about the external world, the invisible barriers that prevent us from being great, all of the excuses we continue to build up around ourselves like great walls keeping progress out. I have to stop thinking that I deserve to be happy, because that is lazy thinking. If I want happiness, true happiness, I need to make it happen.

It won’t just come to me.

We need to be better versions of ourselves, every single day.